The Dirty Laundry of Autism

Today we're talking about laundry. No, really, laundry, as in the stuff you put in a washing machine to get clean.

It seems silly to the rest of the world that laundry would be such an issue for moms and dads of kids with autism, but it's can be no laughing matter. I've been around the ASD community for going on 15 years, and it's one of the things I've heard from just about everyone you can imagine.



Getting the laundry done takes on a whole different meaning when you have a child with higher needs, especially when that child has a way of doubling or even tripling the work load by destroying the progress you've made on the laundry loads by dumping clean clothes on the floor and walking on them, hiding stacks of clean clothes in the dirty laundry hamper under your husband's dirty work uniforms, or even opening up a drawer of clean clothes and peeing in it. Yes, these things really happen, and no we can't just explain it to them and get them to stop.

Not only do you end up with more laundry to do when you have a kid with autism, you end up with less time and/or energy to do it. All of the things they do to generate more laundry doesn't actually stop with the abuse of clothes. They're doing these things in other parts of the house and life too. We have to keep up on all these things. While you're doing a load of whites in the laundry room or garage they're in the kitchen pouring out all of the ketchup, mustard, oatmeal, and bran flakes on the kitchen floor. And that's only if you're lucky. They could be taking these things to the living room carpet or painting the drapes and wallpaper with them. Sounds tiring, doesn't it?

Now add in the way others judge you for not getting the laundry done, or the stains taken out of the carpet. People without kids, or people with normal kids, find it easy to criticize. Even when they don't say anything at all we still see the looks and the hear the tsks. They would never put up with that, nosirree! Well, kudos to you! May you and your perfect child live happily ever after in Never Never Land.

Don't get me wrong, I don't hate these people. I just think they're clueless. No, I know they're clueless. And really that's a good thing. If they had a clue that would mean they had a child with high needs. I'm glad my clueless friends don't know what it's like to reach into their daughter's sock drawer and come back with a wet hand. Or walk into the living room first thing in the morning to find the walls painted with poo, and that your oldest child's t-shirts have been turned into hand rags. OR that while you were changing the laundry over and fielding a phone call to yet another specialist that the child in question was busy stuffing the pile of clean laundry you were about to fold under the bathroom sink for no reason in particular... at least, not that you can figure out.

So, you get as much done as you can. Laundry is just one of the many, many chores that never get caught up on when you have a child with autism. On very rare and  great occasion it does happen. And then all of your friends, those who have a clue and half of the ones who don't, are jealous. Learn to laugh. If one of your friends announces that he or she has caught up on their laundry buy them a drink. They deserve it.

XXOX